greatest ambitions

For the past couple of days while I've been cooped up inside my humble home, I've had a lot of time to think and reflect on what I really want in life. Which, I still have no idea. I've got a rough list though. Things that make me happy, things that make me sad. Things that I would change in a heart beat, things that I would never consider to change. Just everything that's on my mind right now.

1. I strongly believe in self-confidence, but at times, mine seems to fade
2. I will enjoy school whether it be at USU or somewhere else..
3. Good ol' toasted peanut butter and honey sandwiches are lifes cure for anything
4. everyone has their own spot. and the temple is mine. I drive past the closest temple on average 3 times a week, if not more.
5. the real world scares me, but i'm becoming more ready to conquer that fear.
6. tennis is my everything. If it were a food, I'd eat it daily.
7. I'm still amazed to this day how I got such phenomenal friends. you know who you are
8. i enjoy getting sunburns.
9. in every season of life there is something to celebrate
10. I don't dare think about what my life would be without faith
11. I love mormon movies. they're funny and so ridiculously true.
12. I people watch. and love it
13. there really is no place like home
14. jon and kate plus eight is my all time favorite show
15. i enjoy being me.

there's always going to be an up hill battle.

I've defiantly learned this the hard way this week. No bueno. It's been a rough week for many different reasons
- I lost 3 of my very best friends this week to missions. Although, I shouldn't complain because I'm terribly excited for them. Kmetzsch, Taylor, and Kasper.. I love you boys! a lot.
- On top of being down and depressed about friends leaving and growing up, I had to get my wisdom teeth out today. I had been dreading it all. week. long. and low and behold it came today
Good news is, I don't remember a thing. I remember laying on the surgery table and being ambushed by two nurses with heart monitors, straps on my wrists and across my body to keep me from "rolling over" (I strongly believe it was to keep me from getting up and running away), checking my blood pressure, and the only awaited IV. I don't remember the IV being put into me really. Once they had strapped me onto the bed, I knew there was no turning back anyways. I remember the nurse telling me to pump my fist so she could give me the IV, then a little pinch, and then I remember waking up in the recovery room.. nothing else was in my brain. It was quite weird. I enjoyed it though. haha yes, enjoyed it. Today hasn't been too bad with pain because mama lamb has taken incredible care of me by switching my gauze, getting me my gourmet food that consists of apple sauce, mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, and apple juice. We'll see what tomorrow brings though. I'm going to be pretty sore, or so I hear. 3 out of 4 of my wisdom teeth were impacted. awesome. I know. so come visit?? I've been pretty bored today.. or at least call me or something. Who knows. I might entertain you. Jordan Juarez came over today about 7 minutes after I got home from the hospital, and I do not remember him coming whatsoever. Mama Lamb stated that he took pictures and video to prove it. Lovely.. I don't know what else I said to anyone, so I deeply apologize..
-and on top of this lovely mishap.. we found out that my mom's mother, grandma bryson, was rushed to the ER wendesday night out of the blue do to a stroke. Yeah, it hasn't been the best week, let's just say that much.
- But all in all, things have got to look up from here, right? I mean, I do have amazing family that takes care of me, incredible friends that bring me ice cream and a movie. I really do just love life. It's just unfortunate that I had so many sad/stressful things that have happened to me this week. But I shouldn't be complaining.

"strength isn't something you're born with, it's something you find." -Emma Smith

My wisdom will soon be taken from me.

yes, You read me. My wisdom will be gone. I'm quite nervous to be honest. Although everyone survives getting their wisdom teeth out, there is something inside putting the thought "what if I'm the exception and die or get seriously ill from this". All I know is next thursday is coming way too fast. I don't think it's the initial surgery that scares me, although I am terrified of needles and IV, I'll have to get over that one going into medical and all, but it's more the recovery. I hear "you'll only be sore for a couple weeks, it doesn't hurt that bad." Yeah. a couple weeks is a couple weeks too long. I have things to do with my life during those couple of weeks, especially the first couple days after surgery. I can't just lay down and relax and not do anything.. I need to play tennis. I need to go running. I need to sing my little heart out. I need to do anything but what I'll be doing. Sigh.

I just hope you will all remember me and all the good deeds I did in this world if I do end up dying next Thursday. I love you all, God be with you.. and me. Goodbye team.

Sunshine and summertime!

that's the way we do it
new friends and blue skies that never end
that's the way we like it
good times
sunshine and summertime!

summer is finally here! although we enjoyed a bit of rain this morning, we are well on our way to bright sun, all day long.
I've missed the feel of warmth.
I've missed the smell of fresh cut grass.
I've missed the taste of otter pops.
I've missed the company of old friends.
Summer, let the good times roll!

with summer here that also meant some sad goodbyes.
Goodbye to finals
Goodbye to Logan (for a couple weeks at least)
Goodbye to pineview #28 (best apartment around)
Goodbye to roommates :(
Goodbye to new friends
although I am going to miss all of these things like CRAZY this summer, I am very fortunate to be living with my roommates again in the fall, moving back to breath taking beautiful Logan soon, and taking kamas trips every now in then within the next 4 months. I can't live without those girls. Saying goodbye to new friends I made up there at USU was impossibly difficult. but like Jason said, you don't have to say goodbye forever; friendships are eternal. I'm proud to say I know that is true! :)
...but still.. HELLO SUMMER! :)