The Lord is good

Lately I've had a lot more time to engulf myself in my scriptures and other resources of The Church. And Ho-ly cow! I can't even remember the last time I felt this good, felt so much love, and so much peace. It's incredible.
Every day I have received an answer to my prayers, or a reassurance, or a simple reminder as to why I am where I am. It's nice to know Heavenly Father answers prayers in a way that benefits us the most.

President Ezra Taft Benson said: "Does the Lord promise and not fulfill? Surely if He tells us that these things will come to us if we lay hold upon His word, then the blessings can be ours. And if we do not, then the blessings may be lost. However diligent we may be in other areas, certain blessings are to be found only in the scriptures, only in coming to the word of the Lord and holding fast to it as we make our way through the mists of darkness to the tree of life."

may I repeat.."However diligent we may be in other areas, certain blessings are to be found only in the scriptures..."

I can testify of that. These past 6 months or so of my life I've learned to search my scriptures, and truly study them. Not just read. I have received so many blessings from them that I haven't fully noticed or acknowledged until now.

And what a great reminder as the New Year approaches and while we are setting new goals to achieve in these next months. I hope we all put this as a big priority in our life. I know the Lord will bless those who feast upon His words and internalize His teachings.

Remember: "The Lord is more concerned with what a man is than with what he was, and with where he is than with where he has been."
-Elder F. Burton Howard

patience

-Patience is far more than simply waiting for something to happen--
-Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears
-Patience means active waiting and enduring
-Patience means staying with something and doing all that you can--working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed

*Every one of us is called to wait in our own way. We wait for answers to prayers. We wait for things which at the time may appear so right and so good to us that we can’t possibly imagine why Heavenly Father would delay the answer.

*Often we can’t see the Lord’s hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness.

*Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most.

Story of my life the past 3 months. Do you think Heavenly Father is trying to tell me something?
haha. I think so, and I think I'm finally understanding it. Fully understanding

here

rededicate your life

ya know, it's interesting what all this "free time" can do to someone.
Although I have already gone insane 5 times this break, it's gonna keep occurring until I figure out my thoughts and feelings.
Let me introduce you to my mind..
and my heart.
(fasten your seat belts children, you're in for a ride)

To make things not so awkward for everyone involved in the situation.. we won't share why these feelings first started. Just know that they did. Kind of like babies. But actually not at all....

These past 3 weeks or so I have had some interesting conversations with the Lord. I'm lost, completely lost in what I need to be doing right now. Because if you would have asked me a month ago I knew exactly what I was going to do. Now, not so much. It's funny how such little time changes everything. So now I've been questioning, trying to find some light on the situation. And the only light and peace that I receive is that of something I'm not sure I want to even go there again.. I had some strong feelings in the past of being patient with a certain situation and giving it time. There was a lot of good that came from it and reasons that I am just being able to see why things happened the way they did. I grew so much and learned a lot about myself from this experience and grew to love and trust my Savior even more than I had before. We're tight now, He and I
But the only peace I got was the peace that came when the Lord told me to be patient and things will work out how He wants them to.

That was over two months ago. I finally accepted what happened and was ready to move on..
But surprise,
here I am.. those thoughts came back full force about 3 weeks ago and I have ignored them until last week.

Now by ignoring them I mean that I'm actually now acknowledging that I need to probably figure out why I have been feeling this way lately. I haven't acted upon these thoughts and impressions because I don't even know how I personally feel about them. All I know is that I am feeling something a lot more than just my own thoughts and feelings. I'm feeling the spirit, and by that I'm feeling peace when those impressions come to me. Strong peace.
Peace is the only feeling Satan can not imitate.
that says something, right?

my heart is..
hopeful
finally understanding the past situation
forgiving and forgiven
trusting in the Lord-
but still on the mend
looking for another shot
and peaceful about it as well
and ready to let someone in..

my mind is...
confused, yet clear
excited
wanting a new adventure
open to new things,
as well as second chances
and extremely at ease
(when I go to my thoughts in the temple and the impressions I have been talking about)

It makes sense in my mind and in my heart, those impressions just make sense. Just like it's supposed to when something is right. Now if only it were that easy..

so what do I do? I don't know. Advice? Please. I know you probably don't get much from the story, but one day I will explain it all. In the mean time I could use some words of encouragement.

and you can tell me to be patient, but if you do I might come after you with a shot gun. I've heard that word way too many times this past semester. At least come up with a different word for it, then I won't take it so badly.

and I do want to say sorry, you are all probably really confused. And I don't know how to express my emotions very with technology, I'm still trying to be better in person with it. All I can say is that I know the feelings that I felt in the Temple. I know the impressions I received and the peace I have felt when I received them. I know that the Lord gives Personal Revelation. I know the Spirit gives peace to uneasy situations. and I know that it has been the Lord trying to tell me do to something, that I may be too scared to do..

now this is where you come in with advice.. ready, go!

It's that time again

finals.
.....yay....

There is something about being in the Library that literally makes me go insane and tests my patience. People don't know how to be quiet. I feel that I have come a long ways from last fall finals in the sense that maybe I'm a lot more patient than I used to be. And more kind.
I find that true in every situation but one...
when I'm trying to study.. I'm trying to study.
That in itself is a huge deal. I come to the Library to get away from distractions of roommates, Christmas lights, my guitar, playing with paperclips, and any other possible thing I can find that will take my mind away from the things I should be trying to accomplish.
But alas, there are those few people who find it alright to sit and talk in the quiet study area.
As much as I'm sure I would love you if I got to know you.. I don't exactly care about your dating drama, (successes...maybe. But drama, No) you complaining about how hard your life is because you have two finals on the same day, or how you have no clean clothes nor any food.

So, with that being said.. If you want me to stay nice and mostly pleasant during this week of heck, you will quietly leave the premises and go find somewhere else to talk.
Because after all, I don't think you understand... I have 3 finals in two days.

Thank you