love

I've been thinking a lot lately about choices in life
and man, do I need help with these.
It seems that ever since Graduation, life changes so quickly. Pretty much every week brings a new and unexpected change.
I don't cope with change well, I am trying to be more accepting of the opportunities that will come of other things leaving, but i can never fully grasp that concept.
I'm not a patient person
I like to know where I am going in life
as well as when certain things will happen.
I like to control things..
and when it comes down to it, there are a lot of things that are out of my control.
the only way I can get through certain situations that are unknown is with my heavenly father and his guidance.

I tell you, He is a very loving man
how?
I'm still trying to figure that out.
at times I don't feel worthy of his love or advice
(those are the times I need it the most)
I've learned a lot of things from Him this past year. a lot.
and I'm still amazed by his love.

I feel bad that I don't stay patient enough with his timing in changes.
and how sometimes I don't fully trust the life he wants me to lead.
He has pulled me outside of my comfort zone on many situations, and you know what?
I'm a better person now.
I have learned to trust Him. And I testify that He knows what He's doing.

He knows who to send in your life to help you become stronger.
To influence you make choices, good or bad.
He has given me my best friends.
Some of who are on missions or in Evenston,WY (come back?..)

I love the Lord.

a bright missionary was inspired to tell me once...

"I hope you don't consume yourself with wishing for things that others have or that you don't have yet. Be patient and trust in the Lord. Focus on others and worry about them and the Lord will worry about you."

I think my problem is not that I don't love enough, It's that I don't show it enough.
my heart is full of love for every one I meet.
But do I let them know? no, probably not nearly as much as I should.

If I show my love and affection to those around me, my life will be brighter.
I will want to serve.
I will desire to help them
And through helping them, I will feel the Lords love in my life.
it will be easier to trust his judgment.
it will be easier to put my life into his hands, to shape me to who I need to be.

I can't wait for the day that I get to have a family of my own to love and teach.
and I know whoever I will spend the rest of eternity with is out there.
I already love him.(whoever he is)
and he will love me.
We will teach our children the importance of love, even before they are born.
They will know of Christ, our Redeemer.
that he lives and loves.
he suffered that we may not suffer
the atonement, and the crucial part it plays in our daily life.
We will teach them the importance of the temple.
and I hope to be able to really have them know the love that the Lord has for them.